Emotional Chaos

          At only two points in one's life does a person gets the chance to reminisce all the life till spent, one while on deathbed, and other when the person is about to graduate. At the later stage, typhons of racing thoughts strike the mind unannounced on daily basis, and heaps and heaps of 'what if' and 'should have' pollute the only working machinery.       At one moment you find yourself all active and ambitioned, learning new languages, doing new things in an effort to regain the reins of your life and the next moment all placid , just staring at the wall in front and thinking has it ever been this beautiful?!. One moment making plans to eradicate world hunger or avenge all the bad people, singlehandedly, who have done wrong to your community and the other moment just trying to live through the day thinking if I am to die one day then why the struggle? ,one moment towards" I should save if I am to survive economic crisis " and the next tow...

             If someone ever asks me ,  what weather do you like ?. Such a cliche thing!... Right?!. But its always the cliche that makes two fools comfortable enough to dive deep into life and death conversations, the conversations that brain pops up at the dining tables just to make them giggle and their parents suspicious. Khair....                Should I try my best to make the answer a summer vs winter contest that happens on every now and then on twitter that everyone hates but anyhow takes part . So my reply will be 'I like summer'. Its not because summer is my favorite weather. And not because I dislike or like-less the winters, I can also stretch out a whole bundle of poetry  in a cool cozy winter night , I know I can , ...or ...may be I can not, anyhow it doesnt matter..... Khair here we were talking about The Summer .  The poor summer that never gets enough appreciation.     ...

 Although there may be plenty of reasons not to stay in pakistan , the reasons to stay dominate the former.      Why will I leave a country where cultural festivals just beat the excitement out of you. No matter how hard parents try, no one can beat pakistani kids in stubborness, they easily extort out eid animal days before eid ul adha.If someone has a bull in colony, each evening, you can hear bell ringing from the feet of that bull and excited shriekings from the larynges of a dozen little humanlings running behind it. Evening walks of kids with their animals convert the street into some local mandi , you cant fathom whether they are fighting, arguing, or just making core memories. Well, post eid gloomy faces of those kids make a whole different story. Pakistan, where I can feel the humbleness of distributing meat on eid and can be fooled by same women coming twice or thrice. I dont want to miss on being waken up to the nerve bursting siren in Ramadan, which is no...

                Every death feels sudden no matter how long it took by dead to finally get relieved from the pangs of disease. They say , first night after losing someone is the hardest, I would say , first night is the easiest ,comparing with the  nights 'the left behind person' is now going to endure. The first night is spent in an unconscious ecstatic dream , brain still in some delusive contentment , tongue still uttering the prayers for the health. Then slowly ,  brain starts understanding what has actually happened, starts accepting the trauma that has been fed into it. The real bleeding starts . Grief starts consuming you day by day. Days are spent in the agony of hearing again and again and again how the dead beloved spent his last moments, how he somehow already knew about the impending doom. Then come the nights , the torturous agonizing nights, when  the pain gets so ugly that you roll yourself, bringing your body parts c...

 Nonesense!!!!.Is it even a question to pose? Has anyone ever asked a woman: Can you survive a day without oxygen?! A day of 24 hours?? If we dont get a sight of a woman in an hour, our brain starts suffering from stare deficient stress . It may prove havoc to us and can lead our minds go astray!               From staring an abaya covered women right into her soul, to peaking at a women in shorts and top, it is our daily requirement , basic necessity to grow , to grow into more of a pervert and desperate person. Per day requirement increases proportionately with age . A 60 year old man needs greater amounts of stare per day to satisfy his tharak level. That is the reason you often find yourself being stared at by some uncle with double decker pregnant tummy and an ugly moustache in a bunyan by roadside. But how dare you do body shaming?. It is our right to measure each part of your bodies by mere stare and then classify you. This stare is no way ...

Whenever I asked my heart, what do you deeply desire? I was always astounded by one of the answers . Witnessing rain-shower in a mango orchard! But why ? Of all the mesmerizing, enchanting places in the world , from wishing to see the beauty of Switzerland to experience the life beating in the chest of metroplitans and the most spectacular thing Earth can ever present in the form of auroras, why such a petty thing? The brain never understood. It never does.It never can. It wasnt originally given the ability to perceive innocent nonsense desires a heart puts forth.          Khair, it was a mid-noon of mid-june , a mid-june of Multan when temperature unhesitatingly crosses 45 celsius and where coming out of the room means willfully getting a taste of hell.  But this season, moon-soon came a bit early. As the rain stopped , I fetched a book and went upstairs to seek the rainbow, even though it was very far fetched thing to be expected, i still hoped seeing one...